Fix You.

"when you get what you want, but not what you need."
"stuck in reverse"

how much do i need you? just asking this question is a crime and there
is no way i can tell you how much i need you. i would throw away my dignity,
get laughed at by your friends and being look down upon by the whole fucking
world but i'll still wait for you.

even if you loved another guy. am i stupid?

even if you are married. what about now?

even if you hate me forever. yes?

because if you finally realised that i'm the one you need too, at least i will be there.
and if you never come to realise it, at least i loved you all my life.

-the course of true love is never easy.

"and the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something
you can't replace"
"when you lose someone you can't replace"
"could it be worse?"

i never thought i would have to live through days like these. weeks and months
without you. but i thought i'd wait and see if you'd come back to me. today i tried
and cried. tomorrow i will run into the same wall again. until i finally break this
fucking wall between us. i will break my head and lose my soul as long as my
heart is still intact and i could still love you for another day.
For you see i love you more everyday, today more than yesterday and less than
tomorrow.
If you lived to be a hundred, i want to live to a hundred minus one day, for i
never want to live without you.

drunk and sleepless nights. long hours of wait accompanied by fruitless endings.
running away from home. i had my fill. so what? so what? you gave me so much more.
you were everything i wanted.

now you back to your wild, ugly side of thirteen. even if you threw me away
for someone, even if people call you a slut, even if you hit rock bottom, i promise, i
will always wait for you. i won't go anywhere. i will never ask for anyone but you.









"and i will try to fix you"

and you wrote the book on how to be a liar and lose all your friends.

maybe redemption has stories to tell. what would you know.

what would you all ever know.

oh my, i think my butt has H1N1. i fart like 4598346598347598379 times a day.

this week has been exhausting. and alot of feelings i cant describe.
never-mind, i can do it! i hope.

and school havent even re-started!

i don't feel like tomorrow. help, anyone?

i need the voice to guide me again.

goodness me, Real and City are spending crazy money!
the 200 million euros war chest just sound absurd to me, really.
and Abu Dhabi and its 500 million euros are just mental.

is that what champions are made of? gold stack on top of one another?
i don't see that happening in the past, nor the present. i don't think that
will be the price to pay for championship in the future.

sure you can have the likes of Kaka and Ronaldo in your club, but will it
make a team? you can create an attacking frontline with stacks and stacks
of cash, but what are you really cashing on?

final words, you can buy star players with all the money in the world, but you
can't buy a championship winning team with them.
a winning team is made up of years of love and labour. overnight cash cannot do magic.

next season's a spicy!




i can't forget. can somebody tell me why? just a little you in my inbox can change my mood today!

suddenly i want the man u poster. but, ah well, nevermind i'm careless to lose it.
what's new? i lost something again! it's very fustrating i can't find it anywhere.
it's okay this is what i'm good at. losing things, destroying things.

so really, what's new? damn, maybe they should blame me on something else.
like the man who died in the car crash.
like everybody's results.
like judgement day. yeah, what about that? that's new.

hold your tongue, i thought. i speak this way beacuse i'm just depressed.
yeah, maybe. maybe it's really all my fault.


2 goals in 2 games today. i should kick more. makes me feel better.




your hands are mine to hold.
no more. all because of stubborness and hasty decisions.